HELLO, IT’S THE MIDDLE OF JANUARY, AND I’VE BEEN ON A MUCH-NEEDED BREAK FROM MYSELF. You: “You’re not the only one. [eyeroll] What are Ronni Bumbles?” Me: They are a line of clip-on embellishments that I dreamed up while on vacation, but never bothered putting into production, because UGH and also WHATEVER. If you’d like to invest in an idea that promises to be copied by someone else and offered for a few bucks in the check-out aisle at Forever 21, please LET ME KNOW. In the meantime … here’s my first set.
I suspect my friends and loved ones think these are kind of cheesy and pedestrian, but I stand by them. I feel very Dolce & Gabbana/Gucci in them, and quite frankly, not a whole lot else has been doing the job lately, so I’ll take what I can get/make.
I bought these earrings at Claire’s for a 90’s theme party. Claire’s will undoubtedly put my Ronni Bumbles out of business.
They look nice on my vanity, though.
I made the roses with red satin ribbon, and the clips are V NICE, heavy gold with a solid hinge. In my hair, I clip them to bobby pins, shoes are a no-brainer, jacket lapels, purse handles, shirt collars, they seriously look good on everything. I don’t care if you don’t like them.
I only worry about you not liking ME.
These are the first nice pair of shoes I ever bought myself. In 1998. They were on sale for $300, and I didn’t eat for two weeks. And now here they are, literally twenty years old, wearing Ronni Bumbles.
WHAT A LIFE. GOODBYE.
HELLO, I MADE A RIDICULOUS SWAN OUTFIT FOR MOLLY’S HOLIDAY PARTY. It was definitely too much, but also just the right amount, if you know what I mean. It was PERFECT at the unassuming Italian restaurant we went to beforehand.
Especially when we had to wait in the doorway for thirty minutes and my entire outfit got in literally every person’s way.
Not a professional ballerina.
But I did just teach myself how to apply liquid eyeliner.
The sparkle leggings were a last-minute decision, and even though I thought for sure they’d burst apart at some point (I over-estimated the stretch in the fabric), they relaxed into a perfect pair of glitter pants. New wardrobe staple.
The top is beige tulle, double-layered in the sleeves, with floral motifs cut from ivory and blush Chantilly laces, hand-stitched throughout. Exactly 120 circles of flocked, polka dotted tulle are gathered and layered along the bottom. Half of them fell out at the Italian restaurant, so I guess there are only like 60 now, or something.
Took my entire life, and I’ll prob never wear it again, but NBD.
That’s not true, I actually really like the top with jeans, so I guess I’ll be sewing all of them back on. Double-knots this time, braaah.
Avoiding tiny Italian restaurants, though.
The hat is a one-time-thing, but it looks good on my dresser.
I made it by weaving those cheap wire flowers you buy for wedding favors, but then added Swarovski and feathers, obvs.
Daaang, those polka dotted ruffles are actually intended for wedding favors too. [Apparently great with Jordan almonds.]
Keith, we need to renew our vows. I will wear this outfit. GOODBYE.
- Blue velvet top (+ 1 pincushion)
- Green velvet lounge pants
- Cropped poet blouse
- Crocheted lace top
- Crocheted lace skirt
- Madras bustier
- Madras high-waisted short
- Pink granny test panty
- Navy scuba knit top
- Restyled satin bed jacket
- Beaded satin jacket
- Embellished pencil skirt
- Trellis sweatshirt
- Sequined dragon top
- Black high-waisted stretch flares
- Pleated chiffon bustier
- Ten granny panties
- Cable-knit mono-leggings
- Fringed peephole sweater
- Swan Lake leggings, tunic and hat